Vulnerability is a B*tch

I struggle with vulnerability. The word itself makes me uncomfortable. The idea of having to subscribe to “the state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally” is not a comfortable feeling. I always believed I spent enough time with someone or in place, it would ease my customary anxiety but just a comment, an action, or even a location can send me back to a space where I felt nothing but vulnerable. I have seen how the distance I create causes others to feel weary of me . It causes distrust, resentment, and ultimately avoidance. I may try to explain all but it never seems quite enough. I write this at a time where I feel more exposed than I have in years but I lend these words to images that made me feel seen positively. Hopefully, they balance each other out.

Images by Asiyami Gold

Street Style: Les Jumeaux

On Maame: Top & Skirt: Forever21|Jacket: H&M | Shoes: Stan Smiths| Scarf: Amazon Fashion |Rings : Forever21
On Seynabou: Top: Forever21|Pants: Express |Jacket: H&M | Shoes: Stan Smiths|Rings : From Senegal
Photos by: Morgan Daniels

It’s very seldom that I ask for help. Being raised in a “Go and look for the answer and then comeback to me” type of household stunted my quickness to seek assistance at an early age. I eventually learned through so many avoidable but necessary lessons about the humility in asking for help. But it wasn’t until fairly recently did I begin to ask for direct assistance in anything creative in my life. In the past, I’ve always just tried to place myself in a creative space and hope and pray that I could be offered assistance without looking “needy” or “greedy.” And in a similar pattern, I made avoidable mistakes in my creative life. Losing out on certain opportunities and people were enough of a lesson for me to swallow my pride and reach out to people who have always been present.

Thank you to Seynabou and Morgan for being present and ready to ride in my creative journey.

Street Style: Black Friday

 

If I had to describe my daily style in one word, it would be black. For the aesthetic of the blog, I’ve tried to show off more colorful pieces in my wardrobe. As much as I adore those looks, nothing makes me feel more comfortable or confident than wearing all black. I’ve always wanted to be the physical embodiment of the color black.

Black is classic. It is not loud. It doesn’t scream or demand attention like other colors such as red or white. It quietly and calmly asserts itself, knowing exactly its place and power. It’s sharp and clean. It goes with everything. It’s timeless. And honestly, who doesn’t look great in it?

Dress: TJ Maxx |Jacket: H&M | Bracelets: From Ghana| Bag: Myth House| Boots: Dolce Vita |Rings : Pandora and H&M
Photo by: Morgan Daniels